the man, the myth, the legend
sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.
1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.
2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.
3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.
4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.
5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.” — Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via higheels—highopes)
You know what’s a big turn on? When you’re making out with someone and they just randomly get on top of you. Yeah that is fucking great.
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
Apparently how people feel after waking up from naps.
How I feel after waking up from naps.
The more I watch the funnier it gets
the other cat just looks incredibly concerned
"Bro, what is wrong with you? These flowers are amazing, calm down."
today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”
she just kept going
i screamed into a headset and she just kept going
Bitches be thirsty.